Sample #1 Essay

 The essay was boring. I did not want to read it any further when I read the introduction because it was not capturing to me at all. Although, I figured I would give this essay a chance. The introduction was messy and unclear. I could not tell what the thesis was. It jumped on from topic to topic. I did not like how the writer introduced the book nor the characters. The conclusions of each paragraph was not establish well enough, it should have matched each topic sentences. There was not much evidence for each topic sentences either. There are too many quotes from the book. The writer should of had at least had quote explaining more to how it relates to the thesis. I noticed this writer also uses the word "that" a lot. This essay was not convincing. Overall, I thought this essay could be better if it was more organized.